Kira's Freedom
by Rhapsidiast
Summary: OneShot Series! Trying to heal a broken person is not easy, but Lacus promised she would never leave. Post GS. Mainly Kira/Lacus. C12: Over time, Kira began to smile.
1. Favour

**Chapter One: Favour**

Kira opened his eyes slowly. After the destruction in GENESIS in Jachin Due, he had found himself floating in the vast space filled with twinkling stars that reflected the past and had thought himself dead if not for Torii that managed to find him, ultimately leading to Athrun and Cagalli collecting him with the Strike Rouge. A deep feeling of sorrow penetrated his chest as he tried to block out the thoughts of Rau Le Crusset and the last look on Fllay's face before she was killed. He had passed out just as he grasped Athrun's arm and had come under a heavy fever which he was just beginning to recover from. The fever had been terrible. Nightmares, snatches of blood and loss and pain and suffering kept on plaguing his mind, and he wondered if he would be truly sane again. He had woken earlier to find Athrun by his side, but soon lost his consciousness again. This was the second time for him to wake after the dreaded war.

At first, Kira thought he was alone. His mind, despite being a Coordinator's mind, seemed to be working unusually slow. He registered the white ceilings of Archangel's infirmary. He registered the faint smell of antiseptic and other chemicals fit for a hospital. He registered that he was lying down, seemingly unable to move. He registered the unusual warmth that came from the thick blanket covering him, most likely due to the fever he had come under earlier. He registered pain – dull, physical pain that seemed to scream from afar, clouded by drugs. He registered the deeper pain gnawing at his insides, one that could not be dealt with drugs, and he tried his hardest to push that pain away. And that was when he registered the next thing.

A pair of calm azure eyes was watching him, gentle and soft. Kira turned his head, his violet eyes meeting her blue/grey ones. Lacus. He was still wearing the ring she had given him around his neck.

"Lacus..?" Kira whispered, almost as if trying to make sure that she was really there in front of him.

She relaxed considerably and smiled. It was such a simple gesture, but she had that strange aura around her that made him feel instantly peaceful, as if the gnawing pain in his chest could leave him upon her command. "Are you alright, Kira?"

"Yes," Kira answered, an automatic answer to a standard question.

Lacus wasn't fooled. She was never fooled. She reached forwards and stroked his hair gently so that his fringe was no longer covering his forehead. "I'm not talking about your body, Kira," she said quietly.

Kira immediately turned his eyes away. He refused to cry. He refused. How could he cry for Fllay, when he had Lacus beside him? What would that make him? He clenched his teeth instead and could hear Lacus sighing softly to herself. She knew the answer already. Of course she knew. But she said nothing as she continued to stroke him smoothly, her hand moving back and forth, back and forth... like a rhythm that was lulling him to sleep. He was about to doze off again when he felt her standing beside him. "Rest, Kira," she whispered.

"Lacus..?" Kira mumbled, half-awake.

"Yes..?" The same, gentle tone.

"Stay with me."

He could almost hear the smile in her voice. "Yes."

She never left.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Yes, yes, I know that there's another fic I'm working on currently. XD Don't worry, Gundam SEED Destiny: Renegade will still be my main fic for now. These are all one-shots, simply put, which I would like to write in-between writing for Renegade because my ideas tend to go wild. :D This can be related to my other fic, The World's Dream, in which case it takes place after the fic. I'm writing this because I didn't think there were enough Kira/Lacus moments throughout the series, yet they're a really strong couple. I want to focus on the two years between GS and GSD and what happened between them. :D In any case, I hope you like it! Please let me know, and I'm always, always open for suggestions. Next chapter: Nightmares.


	2. Nightmares

**Chapter Two: Nightmares**

Kira hated nightmares. As a child, he often had nightmares when something had made him cry the day before, the image then turned into something nasty that would haunt him when he sleep. Now, after the war, the nightmares were usually the reasons for his tears during the night. Kira would often jerk awake at night, breathing harshly, looking around with wild eyes and lie back down, silent tears rolling down his cheeks until sleep came to him again. He never mentioned the dreams to anyone, but it wasn't a secret among the Archangel members. He could keep silent when he was awake, but they could hear his restlessness as he slept.

After the war, while waiting for the repairs on the Archangel to be completed so they could return to Orb, Kira had preferred to stay on the viewing deck. He was like a lost soul, unable to figure out what he should be doing or thinking, or even who he should be with. From afar, Athrun, Cagalli and Lacus could only watch helplessly. Even if they were to speak to the Coordinator, they would be facing a form of a puppet. A Kira Yamato who pretended to be fine, while the sorrow and terror were clear in his violet eyes. It wasn't just a war Kira had battled in during the First Bloody Valentine. It was much more than that.

Many people fought in wars, but many did not betray what they should be fighting for. Many people fought in wars, but many did not try to kill their closest friend. Many people fought, but perhaps none of them suddenly found out the truth behind who were really their parents, or whether they had another sibling or not, or whether they could potentially be the cause for another war to break out...

Kira had fought, but he had faced a lot more. What was once his reality, his connection to the real world, was mercilessly taken away from him, leaving him cold and confused. Kira Yamato? Kira Hibiki? Coordinator? Ultimate Coordinator? Fight to protect his friends? Fight against his own kind? Save those who hurt other Coordinators? Try to kill his closest friend? Fail to protect those he promised to protect?

Kira hated nightmares.

One night, at the viewing deck of the Archangel, Kira had collapsed onto the long seat, his eyes threatening to close and send him back to the world of unknown horrors. He fought to keep himself awake, but how many nights had it been? Even when he kept himself awake, his conscious thoughts were nearly as bad as the nightmares. The only advantage of staying conscious was that he could firmly control his mind and keep the dark thoughts away. But he could only do so for so long... and he was so very, very tired... of everything...

A pair of gentle arms circled his chest, pulling him towards what seemed like a safe zone. He protested. He did not want to sleep. But Lacus hushed him and promised him that he would be alright. She sang the song of peace to him, softly, and for once, he welcomed sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong> These chapter will generally be lighter and lighter as it progresses. :) Lacus is amazing, after all.


	3. Home

**Chapter Three: Home**

The last time Kira had a home, it had been in Heliopolis. Then, it somehow turned into the Archangel, or more correctly, the cockpit of his Strike Gundam. He had been fighting for so long that he forgot about the need for a home and when the war ended, Kira wondered where he would go. It was Cagalli who asked him to stay in Orb. And because Heliopolis was once a part of Orb, Kira agreed.

The Archangel docked inside the small, neutral nation and Kira boarded off the large ship. He gazed at the ship one last time, hoping against hope that he would never need to board it again.

"Kira?" Lacus walked closer to the brown-haired Coordinator, and Kira turned and smiled at her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Kira answered. "It's strange to be here again," he admitted. "Will you return to PLANTs?"

Lacus shook her head and led Kira away. How could she return back to PLANTs, after all that had happened? Except for Cagalli, Lacus and Athrun were fugitives and wanted by ZAFT, for many different reasons. Lacus would see to it that proper arrangements were made so they could stay in Orb – it was the least she could do, if at all possible. But she wouldn't return to PLANTs. "I want to live in Orb," Lacus said cheerfully in her melodious voice. "In fact, there is already a place here for us. It's an orphanage," she said quietly. "Shall we go, Kira?"

Sure. Why not? Kira smiled at her and nodded. The idea of an orphanage was rather appealing. He'd hate to live somewhere too quiet. "Sure. Let's go." Where else_ could_ he go?

She led him easily, getting on a car and whisking him away past the ocean and trees that hid all the terrors of the war. Orb still had a lot to do to rebuild itself, but that was something they were ready for. Lacus had brightly said that they would work together to help Orb, back when they were still on the Archangel, and it was something that Kira wanted to do himself. Slowly, the crew of the Archangel were getting back into their lives. The car stopped in front of a middle-sized house, right by the side of the ocean. An orphanage, as Lacus had said. Children were playing outside, and Kira recognised Reverend Malchio sitting on a chair in front of the house. He looked around, taking in the details of the new place he would be staying in. An orphanage.

With Lacus guiding him, they walked around the house, examining the areas surrounding it first. The children were playing everywhere, but at the back of the house, everything was quiet. There was a small garden, pretty and well-kept. Kira was about to turn back when he heard a familiar voice a short distance from where he was standing. A middle-aged woman, with dark blue hair and kind eyes, speaking to two girls at the end of the garden. "Mom..?" Kira trailed off, his eyes widening slightly. He nearly took a step back... No. Could he still call her that?

Lacus stood beside him and smiled. "I invited her to stay with us, Kira. She is your mother... right?" she asked, the gentle smile never leaving her lips.

Kira turned and gazed at Lacus. Lacus never asked questions without a point. Kira gritted his teeth, casting his eyes away, and clenched his fists.

"Kira..?"

The brown-haired Coordinator turned, facing the one woman whom he'd always have called his mother, and nobody else. Caridad Yamato was in front of him, her hands clasped neatly in front of her as she regarded him with careful but gentle eyes. "Okaerinasai, Kira," Caridad said kindly. _Welcome home, Kira._

He felt the tears fall. Kira turned to Lacus, who only smiled and shrugged lightly. Kira turned and immediately embraced his mother, crying into her shoulder as he had always done as a child. She hugged him tight, patting him gently on the back. "Tadaima," Kira said quietly. _I'm home_.


	4. Closure

**Chapter Four: Closure**

The Freedom Gundam was a mobile suit that had assisted in bringing peace to the world. That was a definition that Kira knew many took when describing his mobile suit. But to him, the Freedom was a weapon that he had used to kill many, whether intentionally or not, and it was also a weapon that failed to protect many whom he wanted to protect. Despite his desire to never see the mobile suit again, Kira went to Morganroete and stared at the tall mobile suit, the thoughts of war in his mind and his eyes faraway. He had come to this place for one reason only, and that was to lock his mobile suit where nobody would be able to use it again.

Grasping the lever, Kira transported himself to the cockpit of the Gundam and activated the mobile suit. He watched the familiar words on the screen as the machine turned itself on. Still, his eyes were almost unseeing. Kira activated the Freedom's OS, pulling out his keyboard and started to type instantly. His fingers danced swiftly as he keyed in the commands. It was almost as simple as breathing, something that he could do unconsciously, maybe even in his sleep. Many yearned the talent, but Kira hated himself for having the ability to pilot the mobile suit. It was due to his talent that had led him to kill. He worked on the OS for an hour, and by the time he was done, the Freedom was locked securely, ensuring that nobody, apart from Kira and Athrun, had the ability to pilot it.

When Kira transported himself down again, he was surprised to see Lacus waiting for him, along with her Pink Haro that bounced around noisily. "Lacus," Kira greeted her, moving to her side instantly. She placed a hand on his arm and her azure eyes were on the mobile suit. "I locked the system," Kira said, following her gaze.

"Is that so..?" Lacus said softly, turning to smile at him. "Many people were saved by this mobile suit," she said.

Kira gazed deeply into her eyes. Lacus, as usual, was always able to see the brighter side of things. "Thank you..." he whispered.

She beamed at him cheerfully and grabbed his arm. "Come on, Kira. Pink-chan is bored. Shall we walk at the beach?" she asked as she pulled him away. Kira raised his eyebrows in surprise, but a small smile crossed his lips and he agreed.

They went to the beach and Kira watched with his arms crossed as Lacus approached a group of kids, immediately suggesting that they build a large sandcastle together. They worked, and then they played with Haro who chased them. Kira watched Lacus, smiling and laughing, along with the cheerful children, and he felt at peace.

When the sun was beginning to set, Lacus went over to him and they began to walk back home together. She had an arm around him, resting against his side as they walked. "It is only because you fought so hard that we can enjoy this peace, Kira," she said, her voice so soft that he thought he hadn't heard her at all. "So... don't be sad."

Kira never saw the Freedom again, not until the next war two years after. He did not ask where the mobile suit went and merely assumed that it was with the Archangel. In truth, he was glad he didn't know where it was. He did not know that the night he had worked on the Freedom's OS, Lacus had contacted Andrew Waltfeld. They built a secret hangar under Waltfeld's shared mansion with Murrue, and the Freedom was hidden there, away from Kira's sight.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Thanks for the review, San17! :D I plan on putting a lot of Kira/Lacus moments in Renegade as well. XP


	5. Athrun

**Chapter Five: Athrun**

The first few weeks after the war, Athrun had decided to stay with Kira and Lacus in the orphanage in Orb. This was partly due to him still being a fugitive, and he didn't want to attract attention to himself, but it was also because he felt that he couldn't face the real world just yet. Cagalli had been thrown into a new world in leading Orb, and Athrun found himself shrinking away. The thought of power always reminded him of his late father, and he blamed himself for what had happened. Putting himself in power in Orb was the last thing he wanted even though Cagalli had often asked him to assist her. Athrun feared of the consequences if he had power in his hands. Would he act like his father?

He shared a room with Kira in the orphanage – the room furthest away from Lacus and the children, mainly due to the nightmares that haunted them both. Especially Kira. Athrun had willingly become a soldier, and he had killed so many people that he was more accepting of what he had done. The nightmares that haunted him were of his father and of Junius Seven, along with the nightmares of his fallen comrades. But the nightmares that haunted Kira seemed so much more than just that, and he told Cagalli that he wanted to stay with his old friend for a while, if only to help him through the hellish nights.

One night, Athrun was woken by Kira, crying out in his sleep. The blue-haired Coordinator crossed to his friend and took his shoulders, shaking him gently as he woke him up. Kira had been drenched with sweat, waking up with tears in his eyes before sitting up and resting his forehead on his palm. Athrun sighed, passing Kira a glass of water before settling to sit beside the shaken Coordinator.

"Will they go away?" Kira asked, his eyes turning to Athrun.

Athrun only shook his head. "I don't know, Kira." Kira fell silent then, holding the glass tightly in his hands. Athrun placed a hand on his shoulder, casting his eyes away.

"I feel terrible, Athrun. Lacus... She tries so hard, but nothing seems to be working," he said quietly.

A ghost of a smile passed Athrun's lips and he shook his head. "No, Kira. It's working, alright. It just takes time," he said reassuringly. Kira didn't understand, but Athrun did not explain.

That morning, Lacus woke the brown-haired Coordinator as usual, pressing her lips against his forehead before stroking him until he woke up. That morning, he opened his eyes and smiled as soon as he saw her gentle face, smiling as she said his name. A week ago, he still flinched when he woke up seeing her, the image of Fllay still haunting his mind.

It was a very subtle change, but it was a change nonetheless, even if he wasn't aware of it. Slowly, Lacus was bringing him out of his nightmares, and Athrun had seen that.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Thanks to those who alert-ed and favourite-d! :D These really help with writer's block. XD


	6. Siegel

**Chapter Six: Siegel**

Lacus liked to go on long walks around Orb. The small country, located on a very small island in the vastness of the world and the universe, was still trying to rebuild itself after Uzumi Nara Attha had burned it down, refusing to hand it over to be used by the Earth Alliance during the previous war. In many areas in Orb, there were still obvious signs of destruction. During these long walks, Kira would watch as Lacus did whatever she could to make the place better than yesterday. Over time, he began to feel human again, and his hands, if possible, seemed to be less stained with the blood of those he had killed.

It happened one day among the most badly damaged areas of Orb.

They had been going on one of their usual walks around the town areas and Lacus had crouched down to stroke a stray kitten that was mewling pathetically. Kira looked around, noting the way people were beginning to repair their broken homes and help each other. Somehow, they, like Kira himself, had found reasons for staying alive and surviving after the war.

A child, a boy no more than eight years old, suddenly appeared from a small alleyway, clutching a wrapped loaf of bread desperately against his chest as he sprinted through the rubble. Lacus stood in surprise and the boy suddenly lost his footing, instantly crashing into the startled pink-haired songstress. Kira's eyebrows shot up as Lacus caught the boy, and an angry shout echoed through the alleyway, followed by a bulky man with burning brown eyes. He glared at the child who was trying to get away from Lacus's arms – it was evident that the boy had stolen the loaf of bread.

Kira stepped forward instinctively, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. He took out a few notes – more than enough for perhaps many loaves of bread, and pressed it into the man's hand. "I'm sorry," Kira said apologetically, smiling slightly. "He's with us."

The man wasn't convinced, of course, but decided that it wasn't worth the trouble. "You better keep an eye on him, then," he grunted, turning away angrily with the money in his hand.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of him," Kira promised. He meant what he said.

"I didn't _need_ your help," the boy spat angrily. Kira turned in surprise, but he noticed that the boy was wearing a wounded expression on his face. Kira felt sorry for the boy – clearly, the child was desperate to be stealing like that. "Thanks," the boy added grudgingly, though his voice was barely audible.

"Haro! Haro! No way!"

Lacus smiled and crouched down, her hand moving gently to dust away the dirt that stuck to the boy's clothes. "You are definitely brave," she said kindly, smiling affectionately at him. "Are you alright?"

The boy blushed. "I'm fine."

"I see. Can I have your name?"

"Siegel," the boy answered shortly.

Kira noticed that Lacus's hand froze ever so slightly, but she was dusting the boy again, so quickly that he thought he must've imagined it. Lacus's expression was that of shock, Kira knew, but now she wore the same pleasant smile as she regarded the boy. "Siegel, is it? It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Lacus Clyne. This is Kira Yamato. And this is my friend, Haro," she introduced.

"Haro! Haro! How do you do?"

Siegel frowned at the pink Haro. "Well… thank you. Can I go now?" he asked, clearly uncomfortable with the situation they were in.

"Certainly," Lacus stood, catching Haro in her hands. "Will you show us where your house is? We must make sure you arrive safely."

The boy refused. Lacus, surprised, had gently asked why and then learned that Siegel had no home to speak of, and that his parents died during the battle in Orb. When she prodded further, they eventually learned that he was staying in an abandoned, run-down building with his younger sister, and that he needed to get back to her soon to give her the bread.

Lacus's eyes were sad. "Siegel-kun… We have a small house beside the beach. There are a lot of kids living there with us," she said. Kira moved to stand beside the pink-haired Coordinator, smiling warmly at the young boy. "Will you come and live with us? We'll take care of you… and your sister. And I know Haro would like a new friend," she invited.

"Let's play! Let's play!"

The boy's eyes widened, and Kira could see hope in the bronze orbs. His eyes softened, the sorrow crushing his heart again. The boy had looked so mature just then, but the proposition of having a home and someone to care for him again finally made him look like the boy he really was. He bowed his head, his voice very soft as he agreed to go back home with them.

Siegel had led them to the run-down building, which Kira noted looked almost dangerously on the verge of collapse. A small girl was there, lying down on the only mattress there, clearly under a heavy fever. The boy had been doing odd jobs for food, but the fever worried him too much that led him to steal the loaf of bread. Lacus's eyes were deep with sorrow when she saw their condition, and Kira immediately picked the girl into his arms, hushing her and reassuring her that she would be safe and well cared for.

.

The two children settled easily enough in the orphanage. They were fed, cleaned, then were whisked away by the other kids as they were shown around the orphanage – Siegel's sister, however, had to remain indoors, still recovering from the fever. That night, some time when he had been reading, Kira had dozed off, and by the time he opened his eyes and looked around the study, it was already nighttime. He stretched, checking his watch – it was nearing 1AM. The kids would have been well asleep by now. Kira stood and exited the study – he was about to move to his own room when he spotted a figure standing at the balcony, staring up to the stars. The wind blew outside, and he could easily see that it was Lacus. He didn't expect her to still be awake.

Kira moved close to her, and her gentle voice reached his ears as she sang softly to herself;

_"hoshi no furu basho de_  
><em>anata ga waratte irukoto wo<em>  
><em>itsumo negatteta"<em>

_At the place where stars fall,_  
><em>I'm always wishing for your laughter.<em>

She was singing _Shizukana Yoru Ni_, admittedly one of the only songs that Kira had ever really heard her sing since the start of the war. Lacus liked to hum new tunes, and occasionally, he would get snatches of her singing new bits and pieces from a new song that she was trying to compose. But out of the many times he heard her sing, it was always this song that she always sung. It had eventually became one of his lullabies that helped him to sleep as he dreamt of the pain and suffering of the war.

_"ima tookutemo_  
><em>mata aeru yo ne"<em>

_Even though we're apart now_  
><em>We can meet again, right?<em>

"Lacus?" Kira called her gently, reaching her side. Lacus looked up in surprise and he noticed that her cheeks were streaked with tears.

She had been crying. Lacus had always cried, but Kira had seen her as such a strong figure that the reality never truly sunk with him before this. It was a strange sight, to see her cry, to see her in pain. Usually, she cried because she was sad with what the war did to those around them, but it was rare for Kira to see her crying over her own losses and for the traumatic things that she had gone through. Now, thinking about it, he realised that she must be hurting deeply inside as well. She had lost her father. She had been driven away from PLANTs, hunted down and her house had been ransacked, partly due to her belief in Kira that led her to give him the Freedom Gundam.

Lacus looked as if she wanted to laugh, to appear pleasant again and embarrassed that he had found her crying. But Kira had already seen the tears, and she knew as well as he did that he knew of the truth now: that Lacus, too, was hurt.

Without saying anything, Kira embraced her tightly, cradling her head as he buried his face into her hair, the sweet scent calming him. She froze, but then her shoulders shook and she cried into his chest, her arms circling him. The boy's name had been Siegel… the same name as Lacus's late father. The way she had appeared so strong, as if it hadn't bothered her, had surprised Kira, even now. How could one be so strong?

He stroked her gently, tears flowing down his cheeks. "It's okay, Lacus…" Kira whispered softly. "I promise… I'll never leave your side. I'll protect you… forever…" he said gently.

Kira never viewed himself as a strong person. But he would be strong, if only to comfort the gentle soul now resting in his arms.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Thanks so much to Xx Meisha xX for the review, which ultimately led to the inspiration for this chapter. :D It's so easy for all of us to forget what Lacus must've gone through and the hardships she had faced, mainly because she's just an amazingly strong character. It's nice to see Kira being the strong one, for once. :D Again, thanks also to those who read this fic, and to those who alert-ed and favourite-d. I hope this one was enjoyable - let me know? ;D

**PS:** To those who have checked my profile, you'd know that I'm having major problems continuing RENEGADE right now. It's not because of writer's block (thank goodness) but due to other problems plaguing my life now. It's a very long story, but I hope I'll be able to write again for it as soon as I can. As soon as I can write again, as soon as I re-write the notes and re-design the mobile suits that I've lost, I'll do my best to write up a new chapter. I'm uploading a chapter here to let you all know that I haven't abandoned you. :D


	7. Naps

**Chapter Seven: Naps  
><strong>

Over time, Kira managed to slip away into unconsciousness with much more ease. They eventually became something that he no longer needed to concentrate on, something that he did not need to physically think about and force himself to do.

It was becoming a more acceptable sight to those in the mansion, to see a particular brown-haired Coordinator breathing heavily as he slept, either slumped at the sofa, or resting against a table, or mumbling under the shade of a tree... Kira slept, and Lacus always watched him from afar during those times, sometimes coming near to examine him.

The nightmares still haunted him, but they usually came at night, like the frightful monsters they were, haunting a broken and frightened child. As Kira's nap time increases, Lacus worried that perhaps he hadn't been sleeping at all during the night. She had often found herself unable to sleep at nights, her ears perked for any sounds that might confirm her suspicions, but there were none. A small part of her felt deep sorrow that the fact that Kira was sleeping more might have been caused due to other reasons... negative reasons.

When Lacus approached Athrun about it, the blue-haired Coordinator had shook his head, his emerald eyes gleaming knowingly as he gazed at his former fiancee. "Don't worry, Lacus... Kira is fine," he had said, but Lacus doubted it, and she was sad that she did.

Sometimes, especially when Kira nodded off in the orphanage, Lacus would hover near, doing odd jobs or even just standing by the window, humming to herself or singing softly. She knew that Kira liked to hear her sing, and she found herself doing so increasingly over the passing days. Anything to make him happier... Anything to take away his pain...

A song came to her mind one afternoon, when she had entered her study and found Kira napping tiredly on the sofa, a closed book covering his face. She walked over to him and held his hand, her calm azure eyes gazing deeply at the tranquil face in front of her, and she found herself hopeful... hopeful that he was truly recovering, that he was truly fine as Athrun had said he was... A song formed in her head, and over the next few days, she hummed to herself and sang bits and pieces of the song that was beginning to come to her.

The full song came to her one night. When Lacus began to sing, a strong pair of arms circled her from behind and she leaned into them, her eyes cast on the glittering sky.

_"konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de_  
><em>anata wa hitori de nemutteru"<em>

_Beneath a veil so cold,_  
><em>You deeply sleep, all alone<em>

In truth, Lacus had been frightened ever since Kira began to nap continuously, mostly because she felt as if she was losing him. She could no longer truly tell whether his dreams were haunted or peaceful. She could no longer easily read the tell-tale signs of restlessness. She no longer knew if Kira was truly recovering, or if he was trying to appear so for her sake, because Kira was always, always, so kind...

_"anata no yume wo miteta_  
><em>kodomo no you ni waratteta<em>  
><em>natsukashiku mada tooku<em>  
><em>sore wa mirai no yakusoku"<em>

_I watched as you dreamed_  
><em>You laughed like a child<em>  
><em>So dear, and yet so far -<em>  
><em>That is the promise of our future<em>

It hurt her to know that he slept right in front of her, but she could only worry and hope for the best. Silently, Lacus wondered if such a thing made her cruel. She didn't want him to suffer... yet when he appeared to be recovering, she found herself doubtful...

_"ima wa tada kono mune de_  
><em>anata wo atatametai<em>  
><em>natsukashiku mada tooi<em>  
><em>yasuragi no tame ni"<em>

_Now, within my own heart,_  
><em>I want to keep you warm<em>  
><em>So dear, and yet so far -<em>  
><em>In the name of peace<em>

"It's a beautiful song," Kira whispered into her hair as she sang. She could hear the smile in his voice, and she turned to face him, her blue eyes searching his calm amethyst ones. "What is it called?" Kira asked.

Lacus answered before she even had the time to really think; "Fields of Hope".

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I honestly love writing these one-shots. They usually take no more than a few minutes, acting on pure impulsiveness, and it's just awesome. I feel like making fics like these for all pairings if possible. XD Anyway, thanks for reading! :D Thanks to jj for the review as well! I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you like the last chapter. I'm starting to love writing these from Lacus's view now. XD


	8. Letter

**Chapter Eight: Letter**

The girl was beautiful. Ever since Lacus had first been saved by the Strike and went on board the Archangel, the first thought she had when she saw Fllay Allstar was that she was an amazingly pretty girl. Her hair was a dark shade of crimson, well-kept, combed and swept back, and she had the most stunning eyes which were blue-ish silver, unlike her azure blue/grey ones. Her face was gentle, although perhaps full of fear, but Lacus had often imagined a carefree, smiling Fllay that had lived before the terrors of the war had consumed her life. And she truly grieved for the girl then, not knowing anything about what Fllay had really done to Kira. Lacus had cried for her death, as she usually did whenever she heard anyone's death, but she had met the girl and she had wanted to be a friend, only to be pushed away due to fear and terror. But Fllay had been a friend of Kira's, and had lived in the neutral colony of Heliopolis. So there was no doubt that before the war, Fllay never bore any real grudge towards Coordinators.

The letter came one sunny afternoon, and Lacus had found it odd because it wasn't postmarked. The letter only had one name scrawled neatly on top, "Kira Yamato", and that was it. She found it in the mailbox, and had brought it to Kira, only to find him napping once again in her study. The curiosity was nearly too much for Lacus, but she forced herself to refrain from reading the letter even though a dark feeling clenched her chest, somehow warning her that the letter would cause pain to the brown-haired Coordinator that she had learned to love so much.

Lacus left the letter by the side table, kissed Kira gently on the forehead, and left to allow the Coordinator to sleep.

An hour later, Lacus passed the door to the study, her arms full of the clothes that were freshly laundered and folded, and she was about to head to the children's rooms to store them neatly into their wardrobes. But she halted when she heard the familiar sound that had always sent a chill to her heart: Kira, broken and crying, his voice holding too much pain for such a gentle soul. Rather irresponsibly, Lacus placed the clothes on the nearest chair and ran towards the study, flinging the door open to see Kira on his knees on the floor, hugging himself with tears streaming down his face, his right hand clutching the letter. She had been right. Then again, she usually was.

"Kira!" Lacus cried out worriedly, rushing to his side immediately and taking him by the shoulders. "Kira!"

The brown-haired Coordinator raised his violet eyes to her, seemingly unfocused. "Fllay…" he whispered, and Lacus froze, wondering if he was seeing the red-haired girl in her, but she shook the thought away. Lacus pulled him into her arms, hushing him, then taking the letter from his hands which she then began to read.

_Kira…_

_You're dead… right? You're truly dead… right? They say you've been taken down by the Aegis, your friend… But… If you're dead, then why am I sad? Why am I crying?_

_I tried so hard to hate you, Kira. When you failed to protect Father, I wanted you to fight until you die, because that's the only way I can forgive you for what you've done. But you always cried when you couldn't save anyone, and it became harder to hate you, the harder I tried. Why? Why is it so hard to hate you, Kira? Why did you never hate me? You knew what I was doing… I know you knew. Kira is too clever to not know. But the more you protected me, even when you knew I was using you, the more I felt the pain. And now you're dead. Now, I hate you for dying._

_I'm sorry, Kira… I want to protect you properly…_

_I tried so hard to hate you._

_Fllay Allstar._

Lacus lowered her eyes, pressing the side of her cheek into Kira's hair as the wave of emotions came over her. Sorrow… sadness… and, almost surprisingly, anger. She dropped the letter, embracing Kira tightly as he continued to sob into her shoulder, crying out in pain that continued to tear his heart. A tear escaped from Lacus's eye, and she wanted to hate herself for finding another strong emotion developing towards the red-haired girl: hate. She understood now why Kira sometimes flinched away from her touch, especially when she woke him every single day. She understood now why Kira found himself so hard to love, keeping himself locked away in his own emotions. The girl had used him. And though part of her sympathised for what the war had done to such a gentle soul, she couldn't bring herself to not hate Fllay for what she had done to Kira.

"I tried… Lacus, I tried…" Kira sobbed, and Lacus's eyes softened to hear him say her name.

"It's alright, Kira…" Lacus whispered quietly. "You saved her soul…"

That night, Lacus hovered at the balcony at the end of the orphanage where Kira and Athrun's room was located. She sang softly to herself, listening to Kira crying out in his sleep, haunted by nightmares again, and then the silence and soft murmurs as Athrun came to comfort the broken Coordinator.

Lacus wasn't as all-kind as she was always portrayed to be. She, too, could harbour feelings of hatred, and she did have them for that beautiful girl with blue-ish silver eyes. But what made her sad, more than anything, was knowing the fact that Fllay hadn't been able to hate Kira, no matter what she had done to him. Her soul was gentle after all. Lacus hated many things. She hated sadness. She hated wars. She hated what wars led people to do. She hated deaths. She hated Kira's pain. She hated Fllay Allstar, but only for what the girl had done. What she hated most of all was her inability to hate Fllay completely. She felt a deeper sorrow for the terrified girl. War did that to people, Lacus learned.

She wondered if Kira could learn to love again. But, for sure, Lacus promised herself that she would be here for him… whether he could learn to love her or not, as he had probably done with Fllay, she would be here and protect him…

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I know there are many Fllay-haters out there, but I have to say, I actually liked Fllay, and I really felt for her when she died. She was a rather believable, realistic character, and admittedly played a large role in Kira's life, unfortunately. Anyway, thanks to IoriKonaN and San17 for your awesome reviews! :D


	9. Release

**Chapter Nine: Release**

Lacus's azure eyes opened at precisely 3AM, her biological clock already set to wake up at the time Kira had been haunted with his nightmares the most. It wasn't as if Lacus had wanted to wake up at such an early hour – she just did, following her worry for the brown-haired Coordinator that had faced so many hardships during the war. Six months had passed since the battle of Jachin Due, and she was beginning to learn a lot about the young pilot. She learned several of his likes and dislikes and his unbelievable talents in programming that he had once used to play with her Haro. She was beginning to learn of the small details of who Kira Yamato was, but at the same time, she did not allow herself to forget his broken self, which she was beginning to see less and less as the weeks passed by.

Very quietly, Lacus climbed out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping children, and she walked out of the bedroom, closing the door shut behind her. She cast her blue-grey eyes to the direction of where Kira and Athrun's room was located, but there were no signs or sounds of any trouble. Not that she would hear any of his screams from here, if there were any. But even Lacus knew that the nightmares were fading away, and she was grateful for that.

She descended the stairs, listening to the winds of the oceans as it blew outside. Lacus walked out of the orphanage and her eyes rested on a silhouetted figure standing a distance away from the shores. At first glance, she worried that it might be Kira, but the shoulder-length hair blew with the wind and she identified the silhouette as her ex-fiancée instead, Athrun Zala. Lacus's eyes softened and she moved towards him, unsurprised when he sensed her and turned, his emerald green eyes widening with surprise. "Lacus… Is everything alright?" Athrun asked.

"Yes," Lacus answered, moving to stand beside him. She inhaled deeply, the wind blowing through her long hair. "It's peaceful tonight," she remarked. "Are you alright, Athrun?"

"Ah…"

Lacus peered into Athrun's face, noting the faraway look in his eyes. He was, admittedly, her first love, and she knew that a part of her would always continue loving him, though it wasn't like what she felt for Kira. Her feelings for Athrun were gentle affections to one with such a kind heart. She had liked him when they had first met, when she had gazed into his brilliant emerald eyes, his face handsome, framed by midnight-blue hair and his body, strong and confident, holding the air of a soldier, but still always blushing furiously when they met, having child-like innocence to the topic of love... He still had those qualities now.

When her father had told her that she would be wed to Athrun Zala, Lacus had accepted without question. She had grown up with the thought that she would need to marry one that wasn't her choice, and to have such a fine person to be her husband was something that she never opposed against. And she had loved him, truly, and cared about him, but Lacus had seen what she knew he couldn't. During the first war, when they had launched in the Eternal and was saved by the Freedom following Athrun's confrontation with the late Chairman Zala, she had seen how his eyes had brightened at the sight of Cagalli when they docked in Mendel. She had seen how Cagalli had only needed to be herself to make Athrun smile, sometimes even managing the very rare chuckle that was as precious and rare as a fine pearl in the depths of the ocean. And she knew, instantly, that she wasn't the one whom Athrun had needed. She had once commented, during the war, how Athrun never seemed to smile anymore, and Athrun had responded by asking how he could possibly do so in the middle of a war. She had failed in trying to make him smile – something that Cagalli seemed able to do with ease, and she understood.

Lacus wasn't the only one, of course. Athrun had loved her as well, had cared for her gentleness and kindness of one so pure in heart. He had originally been flustered with the idea of marriage, both being fourteen when they had first been introduced to each other, but he had come to like her softness as they continued to learn about each other, both accepting the fact that they would be wed to one another. He had been surprised when Lacus had boldly told him that she liked Kira after Kira had returned her with the Strike, but Athrun could clearly understand why anyone would like Kira, and why Lacus's gentle soul was attracted to Kira's kindness. When the Clyne Faction had rescued him from Chairman Zala and he had boarded the Archangel, he had been surprised to see Lacus there, but even then, they seemed distant from each other. Something had changed, and he knew his affections had changed when the Eternal was hit and he caught Lacus in his arms, the feeling of having her body against him foreign instead of comforting. He had seen how her eyes had shone brightly when Kira came to protect them with the Freedom, and he, too, had understood.

When the Eternal docked and they separated, Athrun watched with a dull ache in his chest as Lacus and Kira spoke to each other from the other side of the hangar. He had been with Cagalli then, and the golden-haired girl had asked him if he was alright with it, considering that Lacus was his fiancée. Athrun had bleakly answered that that was a thing of the past, and his idiocy had ruined the engagement. He had been negative at the time, of course, after his father had shot him and told him that he was a disappointment. He had also felt the guilt when he watched from afar as Lacus cried for her father… her father, Siegel Clyne, who had been assassinated under Patrick Zala's orders, and he had not done anything to prevent it…

But Cagalli, ever the strange creature of a girl he had never knew could exist, had made an idiotic attempt at humour by saying that Athrun _was_ an idiot, and that Kira was one as well, then continuing in saying that all Coordinators were idiots. He had smiled then, his lips tugging into an involuntary smile at her absurdity, and he had been surprised with himself. He couldn't remember the last time he had been forced to smile, his heart warm as he regarded the princess of Orb. She had made him laugh and smile since the first time he had met her, and he had only began to discover his feelings as he watched Kira hugging Lacus from afar, comforting her, and realised that his true affections was never with Lacus at all.

A part of him, a deeper part of him that cared for Kira like no other, had been truly grateful that Lacus had her affections for him… Kira needed someone gentle to look after his kind soul, and Athrun could think of no other person capable of helping him care for the brown-haired Coordinator apart from Lacus Clyne.

"I'm going to stay at Cagalli's family mansion starting tomorrow," Athrun said suddenly, breaking the silence between them.

Lacus raised her eyebrows, tilting her head slightly. "Is that so? What will you do, Athrun?"

Athrun cast his eyes low, a small smile on his lips. "I don't know, Lacus. I might take up an alias and be her personal bodyguard. Actually, I don't know what I should be doing right now…" he admitted, still easily opening up to the pink-haired songstress. "The war is over, but I still don't know what to do."

She smiled at him, placing a gentle hand on his arm reassuringly. "That's alright, Athrun. You can find out when you're there," she said calmly.

He nodded. That was what he had intended to do, of course. He had talked to Cagalli about it, and she had grudgingly agreed. He needed some time away from himself… from his name, Athrun Zala. He needed some distance away from what had happened, from the memories of his late father, and he needed to figure out his purpose in life. He would take the name Alex Dino and remain close to the one person he knew he could rely on to keep him from losing himself. Athrun cast his eyes back to the orphanage, his gaze resting on the right side of the building where, he knew, Kira slept deeply. "That guy… Look after him," Athrun said quietly, his eyes wavering. "He used to be so different."

"You did, too, Athrun," Lacus said, following his gaze. Athrun chuckled darkly to himself. She was right. He had changed, too.

"Right now, he needs you, Lacus," Athrun said, turning to walk away. He paused to glance at his ex-fiancée, his first love, still someone he had some affections for, still someone he wouldn't hesitate to put his life on the line for to protect, and smiled warmly at her. He had been worried about leaving Kira behind at first, but now, six months after Jachin Due, he had seen the subtle changes in his friend and knew that if anyone could bring the old Kira back, or at least heal the broken self that used to be the kindest soul, it was Lacus. "Take care, Lacus."

Lacus returned the smile, clasping her hands in front of her. "You too, Athrun," she answered. Athrun turned and walked away, and Lacus's voice rose slightly; "Athrun. Do not blame yourself for what your father did. You are Athrun Zala. You are your own self," she said, watching as he continued to walk, not even turning back. But she knew he had heard her. She never blamed him for the death of her father. Not even an inch of it. She still loved him for who she knew he was, but she knew that it was Cagalli whom Athrun needed and loved, just as how it was Kira that she needed to protect.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong>: I guess this is more of a Lacus/Athrun chapter. Quite honestly, I love the whole Lacus/Athrun pairing, and I was sad to see them part from each other… though I prefer the Kira/Lacus pairing even more, and I really like Athrun/Cagalli. It's just that we never really understood their feelings for each other in Gundam SEED, so I tried to explore it in this chapter. Lacus just suddenly moved to loving Kira, and I always wondered how Athrun felt about it. Anyway, Lacus and Athrun really did meet at the age of fourteen. Refer to the audio clip "Haro" from Suits Volume III. I really like how this chapter turned out, and I hope you enjoyed it as well. Let me know?


	10. Cooking

**CHAPTER TEN: Cooking**

Lacus was not entirely unaware of the views the public had on her. The person who sang the song of peace. The strong one. The one who would lead the way when people were lost and confused. Lacus also knew of some other extreme opinions on her. Her stunning beauty, her pure voice, the ultimate image of kindness, love, hope, dreams… And, more often than not, she had worked to meet those expectations people set on her, if only to just convince them that she did have dreams and she would lead people to those dreams if they placed their faith on her.

But Lacus, too, was human. And humans have weaknesses.

There was one thing Lacus could not do, and she was grateful that the fact was not known to the public: Lacus couldn't cook.

One fact that people seem to forget about her was that back in PLANTs, Lacus had lived in luxury. Her house was large and comfortable, bigger than the average house, and she had maids and servants and workers... Her father had been the Chairman of PLANTs, leaving her a fortune for when she was old enough to receive it. And her songs had been popular in PLANTs, as well as in various places on Earth, earning her more money than she really cared – a large portion of which she had donated to rebuilding Orb after the second war, especially for schools and hospitals.

She wasn't the only one. Athrun, too, had lived with money never being a problem to him, though after Junius Seven, she knew that he had moved to an apartment with his father which he he had rarely been in anyway. Whenever Athrun visited her home, meals would be served for them both, and it wasn't Lacus who needed to prepare it. It wasn't as if she never wanted to learn how to cook (she was actually rather talented with desserts), it was just her duties that kept her away from it.

Now, keeping away from her title as Lacus Clyne, singer of peace, living in the orphanage with Kira Yamato and the children, Lacus became increasingly aware of her inability to cook. She helped, of course. She had been surprised with herself when she found house chores to be absolutely delightful to do, and she had learned a lot. She supposed that now, she was probably more of the ideal fiancée than she had ever been to Athrun Zala. But cooking was not something she could do without help, and she had turned to Caridad, gently telling the other woman the story of how her life had been, and had gained enough courage to ask;

"Will you please teach me how to cook?"

Caridad, who had already regarded Lacus as a daughter, had been all-too-happy to agree.

So Lacus had learned, since they lived in the mansion, and had tried out numerous dishes and found herself enjoying her time in the kitchen with Caridad, especially when she had learned of Athrun and Kira's childhood. She had met Lenore Zala many times before her death, had seen the pure intelligence in the Coordinator, but her time with Lenore was never like her time with Caridad. She had often engaged in long conversations with Lenore, and had not learned much about Athrun during those times as well. Now, she knew why.

"Back in Copernicus, Athrun's mother worked so hard, and Athrun always stayed in home alone," Caridad had said as Lacus worked in cutting potatoes in neat, identical squares. "When Kira found out, I guess you can say that Athrun never had the chance to be by himself again," Caridad said, laughing lightly at the memory, and Lacus had giggled herself when she tried to imagine such two innocent, carefree children.

She discovered that if anyone was to learn anything about Athrun Zala – his likes, dislikes, habits, traits, strengths, weaknesses, favourites ("He had always loved my rolled cabbages!") – it would have to be through Caridad, something that Lacus did not forget to inform Cagalli about.

It was also through Caridad that she began to see a Kira Yamato she never knew existed before the war. And as time passed by, her want to meet that Kira Yamato increased, and she loved him even more.

A problem she always faced when she cooked for Kira was that the brown-haired Coordinator never complained. Whether he liked the dish or not, Kira would hand her a clean plate every time he finished, would say "Gochisosamadeshita!" with the same heartfelt, grateful tone, and she would feel rather miffed, wanting to know whether the meal was truly good or not. In time, she began to read the signs. Kira, when he liked something, would have second helpings, would have a particularly endearing gleam in his eyes, and Lacus set her goal for that instead – the gleam. She learned that (thankfully), Kira had a sweet tooth, and that he had a small like for spicy food. Her time in the kitchen was beginning to become more enjoyable – a sort of obsession and challenge to herself to see if she could make those beautiful amethyst eyes gleam.

One day, Caridad approached her and remarked that since she was improving so much, she would teach her Kira's favourite lasagna. Lacus had clapped her hands with delight at that, and for the next three hours, she performed the duties as Caridad observed and instructed patiently. Somehow, she had already known that it wasn't an ordinary lasagna, which made learning it all the more enjoyable. It was Caridad's own recipe, the recipe a mother had perfected for her son, and they even invited Athrun and Cagalli over for dinner. Because she knew it was Kira's favourite, she added just a little more hot sauce, her own touch, and hoped for his approval.

Caridad loved it. So did Athrun and Cagalli. But what sent the thrill down Lacus's spine weren't those compliments, but what came from Kira. The second helping. The gleam in his eye. And turning to his mother, delighted, and said, "That was great, Mom", not knowing at the time that it was Lacus, the one who never knew how to cook, who had made the meal that night.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong> I hope you'll forgive me for saying Lacus couldn't cook. She seems so perfect, and I can't help but want to give her a few weaknesses to flesh out her character. The inspiration for the spicy food came from the Gundam SEED Chibi Theatre, which I loved. Thanks as usual for reading, favourite-ing and alert-ing! Thanks also to IoriKonan for the review for last chapter. I hoped you all liked this one. Drop a review? :D

**IoriKonan:** Thanks for your review! :D I think last chapter was my favourite after "Naps", mainly because Athrun and Lacus seems to have this sort of gentle and pure relationship with each other, even in Destiny. XD Your review made my day, so thank you, and I hope you liked this one!


	11. Cagalli

**CHAPTER 11: Cagalli**

Kira have always had mixed views on his sister, Cagalli Yula Attha. To him, she had always been fiery and boyish, ever since the first time they met back in Heliopolis, and she had a strange… gift, Kira supposed he could call it…of following her emotions completely. Of course, sometimes, that led her to being somewhat reckless, and Kira had once slapped her because of it. That was before he discovered that she was the Princess of Orb. If he had known, he probably wouldn't have done such a thing as slapping someone of such high class. He hadn't even known that she was his sister back then, though a part of him thought that if he _did_ know she was his sister, he might have still slapped her.

He did often wonder, of course, how Athrun could handle such a fiery girl after being engaged to someone like Lacus. But Kira could never deny that even before this, he had sometimes thought that if he had a sister, he couldn't trust anyone better to care for her. Kira was glad that it was Athrun Zala above all that cared for his impulsive, poignant, erratic twin.

The first six months after the war, he had hardly seen Cagalli. She had been busy, and he had been… occupied, he supposed.

Cagalli seemed to have grown up very quickly those first six months, and Kira knew that Athrun played a large part in that. Even though the blue-haired Coordinator had lived in the orphanage, he always found time to spend time with her, to tutor her where he could and support her with the rest. And, seeing her turning into such a capable leader, Kira couldn't help but feel glad.

"What about this one? This yellow colour looks good enough," a grumbling voice caught his attention again and Kira looked up, clearing the thoughts from his mind. They were in the living room of the orphanage, and Lacus and Cagalli were examining dress designs for a coming gala which Cagalli needed to attend.

Lacus seemed genuinely interested as she looked over the design. "It's beautiful, Cagalli. You'd look like a bright ray of sunshine –"

"She'd look like a lemon with all that _yellow_," Athrun interrupted, earning a glare from the golden-haired princess.

Ah… Athrun. Standing beside Cagalli with his arms crossed, the blue-haired Coordinator eyed them both with intense green eyes as he tried to contain his frustration. He wasn't even trying to hide it, Kira noticed with amusement. Quite unexpectedly, since Kira last saw Athrun in Copernicus, the Coordinator had gotten himself the talent of picking out dresses. Kira vaguely remembered Athrun giving him numerous 'Lacus forced me into it' rants when he had asked him about it. It seemed that talent held even after the war, and Athrun had easily critiqued the dresses until Cagalli decided she would ask Lacus's opinion instead.

The problem was that Lacus seemed to find delight in everything. It wasn't as if the all the dress designs didn't suit Cagalli, either.

The sound and motion of a large book being slammed in front of him made him jump, and Kira raised his eyebrows as Cagalli flopped herself beside him. "You pick. I know Coordinators are idiots, but maybe first-generation ones are better," she grumbled.

Kira couldn't stop the amused smile from spreading across his face. "I don't really think that's the case," Kira said, in defence of his best friend and his… carer? Protector? _Companion?_ Or could he use that other word..? Could he call her a lov… love…r… no, no, his _Lacus_. He was speaking in defence of his best friend and Lacus… his Lacus. Kira shook his head quickly, clearing his thoughts as he flipped through the pages.

He came across a pastel-green coloured dress, similar to the one he had seen Cagalli wear during the first war, and paused. Cagalli, he knew, had looked wonderful in that dress, and from the small look of satisfaction in Athrun's eyes, Kira knew that the Coordinator had pointed out that dress earlier also. Lacus was right, Athrun did have an amazingly good eye. Just to humour them, however, Kira turned the pages again and stopped at another – this time a deep aquamarine dress, with shades of blue at the hem and right shoulder, and made his decision. "This one."

Athrun's brows furrowed and Lacus clapped her hands in delight, but Cagalli merely gazed at the dress, then at Kira, and closed the book with a satisfied snap. "Alright! I'll trust you, Kira!" she said happily enough.

They stayed behind for dinner. Cagalli, in her many months of running away from her duties in search for experience on the battlefield, had turned out to be a rather promising cook, and had helped Lacus and Caridad prepare the meal. Kira noticed that she looked truly happy to be in the kitchen and help out, and he supposed that her duties had taken her away from this small delight of hers – not to mention the Attha household would definitely have their own set of chefs.

It wasn't difficult to guess which dish she had made – all Kira needed to do was to stare into those deep, emotion-reflecting eyes of hers. Kira had observed how her eyes had watched Athrun apprehensively as he spooned the dish. It was too obvious. He was amused when he noticed how Athrun peered at her from behind his lashes and knew at once what she had cooked – Athrun and Kira had both mastered that ability back when they were children, when Athrun had gladly finished Kira's vegetables as long as Kira would finish his dessert, both watching Caridad closely to know when they could make the trade. Now, Kira saw him using the same technique to guess which dish Cagalli had prepared, and when he found out, he took second helpings, much to her delight. Athrun wasn't an open book – it was only the years Kira had spent with him that made him aware of the little things he did, but Cagalli was as easy to read as anything. He couldn't help but smile as he ate, and did not notice Lacus's curious gaze as she watched him.

As night approached and Lacus busied herself in preparing the children to sleep, Kira walked to the balcony and looked up to the stars, inhaling deeply. The first six months have been difficult… but even he knew that, whatever it was that had happened to him after the war, it was going away. And he knew who was truly responsible for that.

"Kira," Cagalli's voice reached him and Kira turned, brightening. "Are you alright?" she asked, moving to stand beside him.

"Of course," Kira answered. "Are you leaving soon?"

"Yeah, as soon as Lacus is done with the children. It's been fun today, Kira. I haven't been able to come here much lately, have I?" she asked, her voice apologetic.

Kira bowed his head. "Sorry," he muttered. "I should have visited you more often," he said wretchedly.

He _did_ feel guilty. Of course he did. Kira hadn't been unaware of how he was those first six months after the war. He had kept to himself, sometimes wondering if he had gone insane or lost full control over his mind as he stayed with Lacus and the children. He had not spent a lot of time with others… he had not been the friend he should have been to Athrun who had lost his parents, had not been the comrade he should have been to Murrue who lost Mu, had not been the brother he should have been to Cagalli who had lost her father… He had been there to comfort Lacus regarding Siegel Clyne, but even he knew that that was minimal compared to what she had done to him.

Cagalli's voice was still bright when she patted him on the shoulder. "That's alright! But you'll need to come more after this, okay?" she said, smiling broadly at him. Kira gazed at her, wondering how she could be so bright and content when she, too, had lost so much during the war. Her eyes softened and she dropped her voice, speaking kindly now; "You're okay now, Kira. She's amazing – you've really changed a lot since then. Sometimes, things just happen to us, and we have different ways in dealing with it. But as long as you have the strength to move on, you'll get better," she said, her voice surprisingly gentle.

"How..?"

"I read your mind, didn't I? I think we really do have twin telepathy!" Cagalli said smugly, throwing him off. Seeing that he looked utterly confused, she shrugged; "I thought that blue dress was the right one, too."

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong> I've been thinking of adding Cagalli into the picture for a while now, but I wasn't sure how early or late I should bring her in. I think now is the right time though, and this is also to answer Portsmouth's request, with hinted Athrun/Cagalli at the dinner table. XD I thought of writing more to this one, but I liked the last line she said, and thought I might as well end it there. For now, until we get more Kira/Cagalli moments. This chapter is a bit different to the previous chapters, a lot _lighter_, I have to say (an emotion you tend to associate with Cagalli), so I hope you enjoyed it!

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><p><strong>IoriKonaN:<strong> I love just about any fanfiction that focuses on Kira and Athrun's friendship, and it's a little sad that there's not much around. That Chibi theatre involving Shinn was pure genius, and I really fell in love with him when he destroyed Torii. XD And I agree! So completely! Lacus and Athrun really have a nice relationship with each other in GSD – heart-warming, yet somehow just pure and… _right_. Thanks for your review, it really made my day! :D

**Portsmouth:** Firstly, thanks for reviewing all the chapters. Shock of the day, seriously. XD I love the feedback you gave, and agree with everything. Kira _is_ different to the others – I think he's the only one who really, really did not have a choice in participating in the frontlines. His friends, too, but it's different taking care of stations than strapped in a mobile suit, pulling the trigger. And I have a few ideas running around in having Fllay appear again, following "Letter", but perhaps not that soon. She is a very real character, and I felt for her when she lost everything, even herself, all due to war. I watched the Japanese version of GS/D, so I have the tendency of hearing their dialogues in my mind in Japanese, and translate it into English as I type. I'll provide translations if I use more expressions in later chapters. :D


	12. Memorial

**CHAPTER 12: Memorial**

Every Monday, Kira would follow Lacus to the official memorial of the Second Bloody Valentine War of Orb. It was a simple memorial, a large stone with a few carvings of words that Kira never particularly cared to take much note of. For him, no words could ever provide the right description of what the war had been like, of what pain and losses the world has had to suffer. In truth, Kira never liked the visits he made with Lacus to the memorial, but he accompanied her regardless, and they would take the children along with them there every first Saturday of each month so that the children, too, would never live in ignorance of the events happening around them and the sacrifices that the world had made for the world they live in now.

Kira hated memorials. He disliked the visits.

He wondered who memorials were built for. Was it for the families who couldn't retrieve the bodies of their loved ones that had perished in battle? Or was it for those who had never had the chance to witness the horrors of war so they knew that once upon a time, it had happened? Maybe it was just there as a tribute to those who wishes to fight, to let them know that in a manner of speaking, they would never be forgotten.

Kira highly doubted that memorials were built for soldiers.

No soldier needs any reminders of previous wars they had participated in.

As the months passed by, the visits to the memorials became lighter and more bearable. At first, Kira had often cried in front of the simple stone in front of him. At first, sobs often wracked through his body, sending painful spasms as he tried to contain his emotions. After a few weeks, the sobs subsided, and the tears would just flow naturally down his cheeks as he gazed at the light grey surface of the marble. The tears, too, eventually passed, and he would gaze at it with tearful eyes, but he did not cry. Now, he only gazed at it with sadness, and Kira wondered if he was already too tired to cry.

Often, when Kira accompanied Lacus to visit the memorial, he wondered what the soldiers had fought for. What kind of peace had they dreamt of? Was it the same as his? Would they call Kira a comrade or an enemy? These questions often made him clench his hands tightly, and Lacus would normally look at him questioningly before taking his hand gently in her soft ones, smoothing the tense muscles and smiling the reassuring smile that would make him calm again.

One day, Kira decided to ask;

"Do you think they are happy with how the world is now?"

Lacus did not answer immediately. She moved to his side and took his arm, resting her head against his shoulder as she thought of her answer. "I think they would be happy as long as their loved ones are smiling again, Kira," she answered eventually, her voice quiet. "So that's what we must do now."

They walked away, and entered a small town to buy sprays and fertilizers that would help Lacus's flowers bloom for the next week they would come again. Kira was about to enter the shop when his attention was taken by a small group of children huddling over something three shops from the flower shop. He watched them, taking note of their furrowed brows and worried faces and found himself moving towards them. Lacus glanced at Kira's retreating figure and smiled to herself before busying herself with the things she needed.

As Kira neared the children, they broke away slightly and he saw that they were crouched around a box. Inside were five small kittens and its mother – the kittens were mewling pathetically in hunger and Kira merely watched them, his eyes glazed.

"I can't take them home… My mom won't let me!"

"They're a family, they should stay together. They'd be lonely without brothers and sisters."

"But they're hungry… What can we do?"

The store they were in front of was a convenience store and Kira straightened, his amethyst eyes focusing on the open doors and he made a prompt decision. The children hadn't even noticed that he had left in their worry for the kittens, so they were surprised when Kira emerged again with a white bag in his hands which he set down beside them.

"Do you go to school?" Kira asked curiously.

"Yes," the tallest of the five answered – a boy, with deep blue eyes and brown hair like Kira's "We usually walk this way every morning, but these kittens were never here before," he said, the worry clear in his voice.

"Is that so..?" Kira mused quietly. One of the children tilted her head curiously at the brown-haired Coordinator. "Then, will you help me take care of them?"

"What?" the boy asked, surprised.

In answer, Kira revealed the contents of the bag – two cat bowls, a large container of cat food and a carton of milk. This he placed beside the box, and the boy raised his blue eyes eagerly. "We can leave the milk and cat food with the box, but I need someone to feed them every morning. Will you help me?"

"Sure!" the children chorused together. The young boy stepped forward. "Can we take them to our corner? It's safer there," he said.

"Of course," Kira answered. He hesitated. "My name is Kira. Kira Yamato."

"Oh! Hajimemashite, Kira-sama. My name is Yuki Iwase," the boy introduced himself, and the rest of the children also said their names. "Come on, let's show you to our corner!"

"Ah! Wait –" Kira was cut off as his hand was pulled by Yuki, leading him away, but surprisingly to the general direction of the orphanage. One of the children carried the white bag while two others helped with the kittens in the box, now mewling louder with fright.

The 'corner', as they called it, was in the playground, underneath an amazingly large tree. The exposed roots provided good seating places, and there was an abandoned burrow of sorts under the tree. Kira knew that the war orphans he and Lacus looked after had sometimes come here to play. Somewhat touched that the children trusted him to their place, Kira helped set the box and new home for the kittens.

By the time they were finished, Lacus had caught to them and Kira introduced her to the children – all who accepted her excitedly as she, too, had child-like qualities that could attract just any and every child. They talked for a while and finally went home, and Lacus did not miss the small happiness that shone in the amethyst eyes.

The milk and food was left behind with the kittens, and every morning, the first among the children to arrive would feed the kittens before heading to school. Every evening, Kira came with a new carton of milk and cat food, and he would help the children and listen to their stories and share his own of when he had been in Copernicus. Kira usually came alone. Sometimes, he would bring the children if they wanted to play in the playground. But every Monday, Lacus would accompany him and every first Saturday of every month, the children from the orphanage would accompany Lacus and Kira after their visit to the memorial, and Lacus would see the peacefulness on Kira's face as he watched the kittens eat and grow.

Whenever he came, the children would jump up and run towards him, smiling and happy as they called his name... the name of a person who, once upon a time, had pulled the trigger and ended many lives, of which the burden was to remain with him forever. Whenever he came, the children would smile, and it was Kira who put the smiles to their faces. Whenever he came, he could feel that he was bringing happiness and not destruction and tears. Every Monday, and every first Saturday of each month, Kira would look forward in accompanying Lacus to the memorial. He no longer hated the place. Now he knew, for him, the memorial was a reminder of what he needed to do.

Over time, Kira began to smile.

As Lacus watched from afar, every Monday, she knew that at least where she was concerned, at least for now, she was happy with how the world was.

* * *

><p>Hajimemashite: "Pleased to meet you" - used when meeting a person for the first time.<strong><br>**

**Author's Note:** I guess this is small look on how Kira is beginning to become a little bit independent from Lacus, though not at all in a negative way. I'm really trying to shape him into the mature Kira from GSD, and I hope it's beginning to show as the chapters progresses. As usual, I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you'll leave me a review to let me know. Suggestions are always welcome! Thanks to IoriKonaN and Anon Y. Mouse who reviewed!

**IoriKonaN:** The GSD theatre was definitely better, but I loved the GS one as well because of Yzak, who is one of my favourite characters. You might have noticed that I have another fic up titled Renegade, but the plan is that after I finish writing that one, I'd probably create two more one-shot series like this one – one focusing on Kira and Athrun, the other quite possibly on Athrun and Cagalli. :D

That's a really tough question, and I've been debating with myself for the answer for days now. XD If I really need to choose though, I'd say I liked GS more than GSD. Athrun and Kira's friendship, and how they were tested with the war, was what really made me love the series and I loved GS because it really focuses on them both, whereas the focus of GSD is more to Shinn, another character I liked, but not as much as Athrun and Kira. The pain and suffering of war was also more pronounced in GS, which I thought was a plus. What about you? :3

**Anon Y. Mouse:** I heart you too! XD I thought that was supposed to be a ":3" emoticon or something, but I'm glad it's a heart. Made me all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks so much for your reviews! :D They really made me smile.


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